he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
