She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
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