Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
