i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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