just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Will exercising make me less horny?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
