You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
