sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I faked an abortion last night.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize
