How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
