My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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