to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
