he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
