My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
