We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
