i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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