When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
