Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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