Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Where is the hickey?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize