You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
