no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
