New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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