We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Randomize
