No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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