you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
