i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
