god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
He had one of those small greek statue penises
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
