Define "chronic" masturbator.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
