i was born a porn star she said
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
