you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
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