i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
