I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
