you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
