No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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