Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
