so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
