Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
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