Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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