dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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