i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize