Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
