Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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