I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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