I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
