Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
