Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
