yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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