I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Randomize
