Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
His hands were made for my vagina.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
