Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Randomize
