You really coming over, don't trick.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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