I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
