He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
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