im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
