The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
His hands were made for my vagina.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
