the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
