so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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