I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
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