I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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